


Almost 25 Days of Fiction

by Tylor



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tylor/pseuds/Tylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short fanfics, leading up to christmas! Each day is a different theme! :D</p><p>Except I failed an now there's only like 9 days ok oops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One: Mistletoe

Snow is drizzling from the sky; a clear indicator of winter. Christmas decorations are scattered throughout the house, and John is hanging up Christmas garlands. He really enjoys Christmas. The joy of giving gifts, receiving gifts, it's all so neat. His roommate, however, does not. Dave is currently sulking on the sofa, wrapped up in a blanket, and drinking a hot chocolate.

  
"JOHN IT'S TOO COLD!"

“Go get another blanket!”

“I already have three! I miss Texas.” He sneezes. “This weather SUCKS.”

“You wanted to move in with me dude!”

More sneezes. "You were the one that moved here..." he mutters. Dave dislikes the merry little shits that go around singing off key, the fake fat Santas that bring false joy to children, and especially the fucking cold.

  
Dave stands up to make some more hot chocolate. John makes his way up a tall ladder to hang up mistletoe. Dave puts on the kettle and makes his way back to the coach. He bumps into something, and it starts to wobble.

  
"Dave, watch out!"

But it is too late.

“Ahh!!”

  
John falls off the ladder and onto Dave. The impact knocks the glasses off of Dave, and leaves the two face to face.

  
“I’m so sorry Dave! Are you ok?”

“Well I can’t move.” He’s still wrapped in his three blankets, and now a John is on top of him.

“Ahh sorry! I can move!” John starts to move, but Dave rolls over. John is now pinned to the ground, and the blankets have come off.

“No, no, stay. I like this view.”

  
He truly does. John has the bluest eyes and a button nose. Dave can’t help but smile.

  
John sees him smile and starts to blush. He looks away, but notices the mistletoe he hung up. It’s hanging right above them. Dave turns and looks up.

  
“You did that on purpose!”

“I did not!”

“Dude that is so corny.”

“I did not do it on purpose!”

“Well it _is_ good luck, John…”

“DAVE!”

“And we _have_ to, it’s tradition, John!”

“DAVE!”

“You don’t want to break tradition, John!”

“DAVE!”

  
Dave is grinning ear to ear. It's a rare sight, as Dave normally tries to hide his emotions. But his happiness is so genuine when he smiles. John looks at his face, covered in freckles, and his red eyes shining. He finally gives in, and raises his head. John and Dave's lips meet. John can feel Dave’s smile through the kiss, grabbing his platinum hair.

  
The kettle whistles, and Dave pulls away slowly.

  
“How about some hot coco and snuggles?”


	2. Day Two: Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg coffee shop au

Frosty wind batters a sign. A coffee logo and the name, _Skaia’s Coffee_ , is just barely visible over the snow. A tall, blonde man stands out in the cold, staring at the sign.  
Dave cautiously enters the coffee shop. The warmth brushes over him as the door closes behind him. The whole place is empty. It’s perfect. He puts down his backpack and goes to get a drink.  
As soon as Dave reaches the counter, someone bursts open the back door. He is carrying three boxes, which are taller than him, and seem far too heavy, as it looks like he’s going to drop them all.  
“Hey! Let me help you with that!” Yells Dave. He goes behind the counter, and takes two of the boxes from on the pile.  
“Oh... uh… just put them over there!” Dave can’t see behind the two boxes he’s carrying, so he slowly follows the voice. “Right there! Yeah! Thanks so much!” He puts the boxes down, and turns to see a short, black haired man looking up at him. He has bluest eyes Dave has ever seen, with a small button nose. He smiles, revealing a pair of buckteeth. He can’t help but smile back. This man is absolutely adorable.  
“So... uh… I was wondering if I could get a drink?”  
“Oh! Right of course! What would you like?”  
Dave leaves from behind the counter. “A medium hot chocolate please.”  
He pays for his drink and sits down. He gets out his music theory book and starts to study. _Shit,_ he thinks. _I didn’t get his name…_

* * *

Dave becomes a regular. He comes back to the coffee shop at the same time everyday. He sits in the same seat, with a hot chocolate, and studies his music book. He often sneaks glances at the man behind the counter. He likes to sing to himself when he thinks Dave isn’t listening.

* * *

As he enters the shop, he can see the familiar barista behind the counter.

“Hey!” Dave says, hoping he remembers him. The smile he responds with tells Dave he does.  
“Hello! What will it be today? Another hot chocolate?”  
“Yes please!” Dave looks around. The place is empty again. It’s always empty. “Sure is slow for the middle of winter.”  
“I know! Ever since that Starbucks opened up near by, we’re lucky if we get 5 customers a day!”  
“Must get real boring, huh?”  
“Tell me about it! I normally just sit in the back do nothing all day.”  
He hands Dave his hot chocolate. Dave pays for it, and turns to sit down. But he decides to stay standing this time. He turns back around.  
“So hey. My name’s Dave. I was just wondering what yours is?” Real smooth.  
“John! My name… is John.”

The two talk for what seems like minutes, but is actually hours. Dave discovers John loves bad movies (well, good in his opinion) and video games, and he also likes magic. He’s a real classic nerd. He’s lived in Washington his whole life, but this is the first time he’s lived in a huge city. Dave talks about his love for music and photography. He somehow managed to grab a full ride to a college in Washington, so he’s going to major in music.

“Aw man, it’s closing time already?” Dave looks at his watch.  
“Damn, it feels like we were only talking for a few minutes! Well I guess I’m off.”  
“See you tomorrow?”  
“For sure!”

* * *

The next day, Dave purposefully goes to the coffee shop late. In fact, he goes two hours late. He enters the empty shop, only to find John slumped over the counter.

“Well hey!” He looks up.  
“You’re late dude. I have to close up in 10 minutes.”  
“Oh sorry. I was getting ready for a date.”  
“A date?” Dave can tell he’s trying to hide it, but he can sense John’s disappointment.  
“Yeah. I’m going to go see a movie. Thought I’d grab some hot chocolate first.”  
“Sure thing!”  
“Make it two please!”  
When the hot chocolate arrives, Dave pays for it, and starts to drink one of them.  
“Well I guess I’m going to close now. I hope you have fun on your date!”  
“If you hurry up and close, we can find out.”  
“Wait what?”  
“Close up quick! We might miss the movie.”  
“But I thought… your date… what?”  
Dave hands John the hot chocolate.  
“So are you coming or not?”  
John looks at the hot chocolate, and then at Dave. There’s so much work for him to do when he closes. He has to sweep the floor, then mop, and clean out all the coffee mugs.  
Screw it. He grabs the hot chocolate, and turns out the lights. No one ever comes in anyway. He locks the door, and walks with his date in the freezing cold, sipping hot chocolate.


	3. Day Three: Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE!!!

The calendar tells him that it's December 3rd. His birthday. But the weather says mid-august at best. He opens a window to reveal an orange sunrise over towering skyscrapers.   
 _It's too hot_ he thinks. He pulls off his sweat pants and climbs into his bed in only his boxers. 

* * *

  
Dave once again from his restless sleep to the sound of pesterchum. He slumps over to his laptop. It's Egderp.   
  
\---  ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:35 AM \---  
EB: dave, hey!  
EB: ...  
EB: you awake yet?  
EB: dude.  
EB: come on i want to show you something.  
TG: hey man i need my beauty sleep  
EB: well hurry up and get dressed.  
EB: answer the video chat!  
  
Dave pulls on his shirt and answers the call. The screen turns white.   
"Jesus, John. Where are you? Antarctica?"

  
The camera shakes, and turns to show John’s face. He’s bright red, with a blue knitted hat.  He waves and laughs, which causes a cloud of condensation to swirl around.

“I’m in my yard Dave!” He steps back to show that Dave was not half wrong. John is standing outside, in what looks like sub zero weather, bundled in layers and layers of coats, hats, and scarves. The only thing that isn’t white from snow is his blue clothing. Dave looks at everything in wonder. He’s never seen it snow before, only in pictures.

  
“I just wanted to tell you...” he bends over and scoops up some snow. “... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” John throws the snow in the air like confetti.

  
“Haha thanks bro!” You love video calling with John. He’s always so goofy. “So you’re celebrating in the snow without me? Thanks.”

  
“That’s not it! I gotta show you something!” John walks towards his laptop and turns it around. He shoves his face into the camera. “Are you ready?”

  
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  
John steps back to reveal a crudely made snowman. He’s about the same height as Egbert, which is impressive, but it looks like it’s about to fall. The only noticeable features is two semi-circular stones on the snowmans chest, and a pair of sunglasses on it’s face.

  
“I made a snow-Dave!” John looks really pleased with himself. “We got a foot of snow last night, and since I won’t be able to be with you for your birthday, I decided to bring you here instead!” John runs off camera and returns shortly with a party hat. He places it on top of the snow-Dave. “Happy birthday Dave!!!!”

  
“John you are such a nerd. But I do like the snowman. He’s a handsome devil, if I do say so myself.” Dave looks at the winter scene shining from his laptop screen, and he sighs.

  
“Aw dude, what’s wrong?” John asks.

  
“It’s just... I’ve never seen real snow before?” Dave laughs. “That sounds really corny. It’s never snowed in Texas before, so I’ve never gotten to make a snowman before. Or have a snowball fight. I wish I could. Maybe one day.”

  
“Man I’m sorry. I thought this would be fun! I didn’t mean to make you sad... OH has my gift arrived yet?”

  
Dave doesn’t remember receiving any gifts yet. He got Jades and Roses, however. “No dude. Maybe it’s still in the mail.”

  
“I hope you get it soon! It’s really cool! Anyway, I have to go now. It’s really cold outside! I’ll talk to you later tonight, ok? Bye!” Then the camera turns off.

* * *

Fifteen days passed. John’s present never arrived. Dave was bugged about it everyday, but it never came. Dave’s on winter break now, and he’s sitting in his room, alone. His bro is out on an errand. No one seems to be online either. He’s just playing with his turntables alone.

  
Suddenly the doorbell rings. The ironic tune of jingle bells echoes throughout the house. Dave reluctantly gets up.

  
When he opens the door, he is completely tackled to the ground.

  
“YOUR GIFT IS FINALLY HERE DAVE!” Screams John. Bro enters the house, carrying two suitcases. “Guess who’s here until January?”

  
Dave is shocked speechless. _John came all the way down from Washington?_

  
“Oh there’s one last thing...” John says. Seeing that he’s someone paralyzed, John drags Dave towards his suitcases. He opens one of them, and hands Dave a sealed cooler with a little red bow on it. “Open it!”

  
Dave does indeed open it. It’s filled with snow. _Really? Snow? This is snow? It’s so cold. And flakey? But it’s soft too..._

  
Dave looks like a little three year old. He stands up and walks over to John. He hugs him and buries his face in John’s shoulder. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” **  
**


	4. Day Four: Candy Canes

Your name is John Egbert and you have a secret admirer. Really? You? You honestly thought you were the most unattractive and awkward piece of crap in the world. This must be a joke.

  
Every year during December, the school runs a program in which the students send each other anonymous candy canes. You just received one, and it just says “ _Lookin’ good today._ ”

  
_It must be a joke_ , you think to yourself again. You take the candy cane from off your locker, and start to eat it on your way home. You hope that this is the last you’ll ever hear from this prankster.

  
Except the next day, when school is over, you find two more candy canes stuck to your locker.

  
One says _“I really hope you aren’t offended”_ ; the other _“But you’re really swell”_. You really don’t know what to do. You’ve never been complimented before, nor have you been in a relationship, and the person you currently like is too cool for you.

  
On the 7th day of random candy canes, you decide to at least try to find out who this mystery lady is. Then at least you can politely ask them to stop. No one at your school knows that you're... well... gay. 

  
You try and ask jade. She's part of the student council, the people running the event. Maybe she knows. 

  
\---  ectoBiologist [EB]  started pestering  gardenGnostic [GG]  at 16:25  ---  
  
EB: jade.   
EB: who's sending me candy canes?  
EB: i must know.  
EB: she's spending so much money on me and i feel rude.  
GG: john i am sworn to secrecy :x  
GG: normally i would tell you  
GG: but i specifically told this person i would not say a word!!!  
GG: all i can tell you is that they adore you so much :)   
GG: its so cute

  
\--- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:32 ---  
  
The next week, the candy cane comes bringing an ultimatum. Starbucks. Friday. 7pm. Leave candy cane for no. Take it for yes. 

  
You know it's a trick. You're forced to say yes. If you leave the candy cane, someone is going to take it anyway. You take it off you're locker and shove it in your bag. When you get home, you decide to ask the coolest kid you know. Dave. 

  
\--- ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:25 ---

  
EB: dave! help!   
EB: i'm in a dilemma and i need your help.   
TG: my damsel is in distress i see   
TG: what is it this time   
TG: a rogue robber stolen your crown   
TG: or is a dragon plundering your fair city   
TG: or has your evil father locked you in your room   
TG: forcing you to eat nothing but baked goods   
TG: and apple juice   
TG: that fiend   
TG: how can prince strider be of assistance   
EB: dude cut the crap this is serious.   
EB: i have a secret admirer.   
TG: aha so it be a rival prince   
EB: dave!   
EB: it’s just i don’t want to date her.   
EB: but she sent me a candy cane asking me to go on a date at starbucks on friday.   
EB: i don’t want to go but i don't want to be rude?   
TG: i dont see the problem here dude you got yourself a sweet chick and a date   
EB: but i'm... not interested?   
TG: why   
EB: uh... don't tell... but i think i might be gay?   
EB: ...   
EB: dave?   
TG: cool bro   
TG: well you should still go on that date   
TG: just tell her youre not interested

  
\---  turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:35 ---

  
You don’t see Dave for a couple of days. The next time you see him, he freezes up, turns red, and turns the other way. What the hell? Well great. You've royally fucked up with your best friend, and now you've got to break some poor girl's heart.

  
It's now Friday and you're sitting in Starbucks. You really don't want to be here, and you feel like vomiting. Hopefully they don't show up. Hopefully it was a joke and you really don't have to be here. Suddenly someone pokes you on your shoulder. Anxiously you turn around...

  
Dave Strider is standing behind you in a suit and holding a bouquet of candy canes.

  
"John, will... Will you go out with me?" Normally you would say he's joking, but he looks so serious. He's blushing so hard and he fumbled with his words. You know Dave only fumbles when he's nervous.

  
"Wait... The candy canes... That was you?"

  
He nods.

  
"It wasn't a huge prank?"

  
He shakes his head.

  
"Look, if I just screwed up our bromance with this awkward attempt at a romance you can tell me because I will gladly go home and pretend this never ha..."

  
You cut him off by kissing his lips. It's an awkward, but sincere kiss. You've been waiting for this moment for years. The candy canes drop to the floor.


	5. Day Five: Christmas Tree

You're pretty sure it's December 7th. But who can tell in space? Your godly time powers are the only reason you can even tell what month it is.

 

You're name is Dave Strider, and you're really getting fucking tired of this meteor.   
Annoying Karkat was fun for the first six months. You're relationship with Terezi lasted almost half that. Rapping got boring after you realized no one appreciated your genius.   
All you really want to do is talk to your best bro John. Pesterchum can connect across space and time, but not across universes. So you haven't talked to him in a good two years.

 

It's one thing to miss your best friend. But it's a completely different thing to miss one of the only people you truly care for. You've only ever had two of these people in your life. One is gone; dead because of this stupid game you played. The other is stuck a year away. 

 

It's Christmas and Rose is trying to teach the trolls about your traditions. Since there are no real plants on the meteor, she has drawn a picture of a tree on the wall with chalk. No one receives presents, and no one cares.

 

You remember the first real Christmas tree you saw. It was at Johns house. You were video-pestering him as he and his dad put up decorations. Your bro never put up appropriate things, so Christmas wasn't always very merry for you. But at his house, it was full of warmth and cheer. Sparkly lights hung from the rooms, and the Christmas tree was real and full of green bristles. You've never had a real Christmas tree. Not an alive one anyway. 

 

You walk into your bedroom, which is really just a huge dark room with a blanket and a laptop on the floor. You stole some of the chalk. You try to recreate the scene of the Egbert household decorating, but it doesn't come out the way you want it. It's not perfect. You're Christmas tree is a complete failure. Instead, you lay down, state at the ceiling, and count imaginary sheep. 

 

You wonder how John is doing, if you'll actually ever meet him, how he is celebrating his Christmas. You wonder if he ever thinks of you, misses you, the way you miss him. You honestly think he doesn't, and it hurts you so much.

 

You're name is Dave Strider and you spend Christmas alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first attempt at sadstuck   
> i failed greatly


	6. Day Six: Pies

There's no snow in Texas. Dave has known this his whole life. John, however, is new to Texas. He moved in with his boyfriend a little less than six months ago. He never thought he'd miss the snow. 

  
"Why is it so hooottt?" he moans.

  
“It’s because I’m in the room.”

  
“True. But seriously...” John looks out the window. It’s a beautiful, sunny day. “It’s fucking December. Where’s the snow? Why am I wearing shorts? Why are we not snuggling in blankets drinking hot chocolate near a roaring fire?”

  
“Because I asked you to live with me, and you gladly said yes. We can still snuggle in blankets and drink hot chocolate near a fire. It would just be hot. Guess we’d have to take off a few layers...”

  
“Charming.”

  
Dave starts singing. “It’s gettin’ hot in here, SO HOT, so take off all your clothes.”

  
“No, stop this now!”

  
Cue the high squeaky voice. “I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off!”

  
“You are such a dork.”

  
“I do try.”

  
“When was the last time houston had snow, anyway?”

  
“Like four years ago man. We were all flipping the fuck out. Some people didn’t know how to react to the sudden fall of unknown white substance, and they started causing complete mayhem. Was on the news for weeks.”

  
“Ugh, I’d kill for a snowball fight.” John then leaves to go to his next class. Dave, however, leaves for a completely unrelated reason.

* * *

“I’m home!” John enters his apartment, tired from his two hour long class. It’s a pain, but it’s college. He walks into the living, completely oblivious to the sudden missing Dave. He sits down on the sofa, and tries to turn on the TV. He notices that all the remotes are gone. He looks around. Except for the tables and chairs, most of the regular stuff hanging around the house is gone. Something is wrong here.

  
Suddenly, it hits him.

  
Right in the back. He reaches to touch it, and feels something slimy. He looks at his hand. Cream...? He tastes it. Yup. This is definitely cream.

  
He turns around to see Dave in his boxers and a tie wrapped around his head. He’s not wearing his shades. You know this means business.

“CREAM PIE FIGHT!!!” He screams, as he throws another pie. It misses him, and hits the couch. Dave disappears into the hallway.

  
_What the hell is going on right now._

John cautiously makes his way to the kitchen, looking out for his boyfriend-gone-berserk. As he enters the kitchen, he sees what looks like a hundred cream pies, and twenty containers of whip cream. Someone's been busy.

  
He grabs a pie and some whip cream, and goes on to look for the enemy.

  
John spots him sneaking into the bedroom, but Dave has not seen him. John creeps up behind him, gently grabs his boxers, and starts spraying whip cream inside them. As he turns around, John throws one in his face. He dramatically falls to the ground.

  
“OHH I’ve been hit! Oh save me! Have mercy!” His Texan twang makes John laugh. 

  
John runs and hides in a cupboard back in the kitchen. “THIS MEANS WAR EGBERT.”

  
He can see Dave, who is sporting a rather nice white beard, reloading his ammo. John jumps out, but remembers he forgot to actually pick up something. Soon he can see only white.

  
This starts a full on battle. John takes off his glasses, and starts grabbing all the pies he can, and throws them at Dave. He does the same, grabbing pies, using the whip cream to make little cream-balls to throw.

* * *

The kitchen is covered in nothing but pie guts when the two are on the floor exhausted.

  
“So what the hell was that for?” John asks, panting.

  
“You said you missed the snow,” Dave replies, “and I’ve never had a snowball fight before. Heh. Close enough.”

  
“Ok well you’re cleaning this up!”

  
“Fair enough.” They’re both smiling like idiots.

  
“Well I’m going to go shower. I don’t want to be sticky for the rest of my life. Also I think you broke my glasses.”

  
“Hey, let’s save water and shower together.”

  
“DAVE.” **  
**


	7. Day Seven: Angels

John Egbert returns from his school, jumping with joy. His stubby little legs can barely hold him. Dad picks him up and hugs him.

  
"Daddy daddy!" He yells. "Daddy I'm in the play!"

  
“Oh son! I know! You’ve told me ten times now. I am so proud!" And that's the truth. John, his 6 year old son, is doing his first play.

  
“I’m going to be an angel! I’m the onnnlly boy! I’m with Jadey and Rose. Davey’s a shepherd!” John has been inseparable from those three ever since they were in pre-school together.

  
“I know, Johnny. You’ve been talking about it all week.” John’s dad puts him down, and looks to his side. Dave is standing next to him, with a pair of shades on. They’re a bit too big for him

  
“Oh son, those glasses are too big for you. Why don’t you take them off so you don’t break them?”

  
“No sir. Bro says they stay on!” He smiles.

  
“Not even for the play?”

  
“Nope!” Dave runs off to go play with John.

  
The class play is tonight. It’s a simple nativity scene, with the three shepherds, the angels, and all that. Mr. Egbert let’s John and Dave play in his room while he gets their costumes together. Mr. Strider, Dave’s brother, is busy at work. This normally happens. Dave’s become part of the family.

  
Suddenly there’s a small scream from downstairs.

  
Dave is crouching on the ground, his head on his knees, and John is next to him crying. There’s blood on Dave’s shirt.

  
“He... he.. fell off... the chair!”

  
Mr. Egbert rushes over to Dave. He has a small cut on his face. He’s also holding a tooth and his broken shades in his hand. “That was some fall, Dave! That tooth has been bothering you for a week though. Good thing it came out.” He grabs a tissue and starts washing Dave’s face. He smiles a large, toothless grin.

  
“Thankss!” They start playing again like nothing happened. Mr. Egbert takes Dave’s tooth and walks back upstairs.

  
When it’s time to go to the play, John and Dave put their costumes on, and sit in the car.

  
“Daddy! Dave sounds funnyyy!”

  
“I do not!”

  
“He does he does! He can’t say his esses!”

  
“I sso can!”

  
“It’s ok boys! It’s because he lost his front tooth. He’s going to speaking like that until a new one grows back.”

  
“The whole time?” Dave does not look pleased.

  
They arrive at the school. Dave and John go to the classroom, while Mr. Egbert sits goes into the auditorium. He sits next to Ms. Lalonde and Mr. Strider, who was finally able to make it to see his little brother’s play.

  
The play starts. It starts with the story of Mary and Joseph looking for shelter. The three wise men come and go with their gifts. Suddenly, it’s Dave. He seems to be the only shepherd. He’s holding a lamb, but he’s not saying anything. Suddenly, he starts to cry.

  
“I don’t want to talk! I ssound weird!”

  
He starts to walk off stage, when suddenly an angel appears on stage and leads Dave back to his place.

  
“Dave! You gotta say your line! Here! I’ll help you!” John grabs Dave’s hand. “I won’t laugh at you, ok! Just say your line!”

  
Dave sniffles and wipes his face. “Look... A... A... A Star!” He walks towards the barn. The play continues like normal, except Dave refuses to let go of John, who is smiling the whole time.

  
After the play was over, Dave and John walk over to their Bro and Dad.

  
“Good job you two! Say cheese!”

  
Dave and John smile widely, showing all of their remaining teeth.

* * *

  
Twenty-two years have passed. A photo of an angel and a toothless shepherd is sitting on a fireplace, next to a picture of two young men at a wedding. Dave and John are currently leaving to take their daughter to her first play.


	8. Chapter 8

You're name is John Egbert a… and… ARGH. Fuck, you fell again. This is hella embarrassing.

It's Christmas Eve, and you decided to go ice-skating with Dave. Well, you asked him. And he instantly said yes.

Neither of you have gone ice-skating before. But Dave's just skates along like a pro. What's with that? You can tell all he wants to do is skate around and race random people. But he's not. He's stuck helping you get off your ass every time you fall.

"Dave I'm sorry!" You say as he helps you get up for the twelfth time this hour.

"Man, don't apologise! You've never done this before."

"Well neither have you! But you're like a god damn pro already."

"I can't help that I'm naturally boss at everything."

You push him, trying to make him fall, but he doesn't even move. Fucking Striders and their fucking BALANCE.

You try to go again, but you're almost falling. Dave grabs your hands.

"Here, let's see if I can help you." He starts skating backwards, holding onto you, making sure you don't fall. It really does help. You just keep staring into his glasses.

"Dude you're still wearing those shades."

"Well yeah the coolest loser I know got me them for my birthday."

"Thanks." You try to sound as sarcastic as possible. "No, I mean like while skating. What if you fall and break them?"

"Well John, you see, I have yet to fall. You, on the other hand, have fallen more times than a fucking baby. John. You are a baby." You try to kick him with your skates, but it only makes you fall. "My point proven."

"Well there's no need to be a dick about it!"

"I'm not being a dick, I'm just stating facts."

"Well if you're so full of yourself, how about a race?"

"You're shitting me right?"

"I bet I can do a full lap by myself by the time you can do five!"

"John, this is ridiculous."

"So then it's an easy win, yeah?" Dave stops and looks at you. He strokes his chin.

"If I win, you have to take me out to dinner. Steak all up in this shit, wine too. Romantic as fuck."

"If I win, we get to watch Matthew McConaughey movies all night. For a week."

"Damn... That's harsh, Egbert. Deal." He holds out his hand. You shake it.

"Deal."

* * *

 

You both start at the entrance to the Ice Skating rink. You're preparing yourself, trying not to fall over. Dave is just standing next to you, laughing.

"OK. On your marks... Get set... GO!"

Dave whooshes out from next to you, and you almost fall.

"NO! I just have to do ONE lap without falling! You can do this!" You slowly make your way around the first turn. You wobble a bit, but you're not falling! Improvement! You're about to approach the second turn when Dave is next to you.

"John, you haven't fallen yet! I am so proud!"

"Shut up, Strider! You still got four more laps to do!"

"Then I must be going! Good day to you sir!" He does a little bow, and he's off. Dickwad.

You finally make it to the straight. You're going pretty slowly, so you try to speed up. But... fuccckkk. You're falling. You grab the wall. Dave suddenly appears next to you.

"You sure you don't need help?"

"Dave shut up I've got this! I can pretty much taste the fucking popcorn!"

"Hmm I think you forgot what steak tastes like. You'll find out soon enough though." You're about to slap him, but he skates off whistling.

You make it to the third turn. You so got this. Just these last two turns, and then the straight, and you're good. You're really starting to get a hang of this! You stumble through the turn, but Dave whooshes by. How the hell is he so fast? Well at least this time he doesn't stop to gloat.

Ok. Last turn. You got this. There's a small family in front of you, with a toddler that is having as much trouble as you are. You don't know if you should overtake them or what. You awkwardly hang out behind them.

"Dude, overtake them."

"JESUS Dave you scared the shit out of me!"

"Well I'm on my last lap. I'm thinking that fancy restaurant up near that mill. You know that one? I heard their steak is REALLY expensive."

"SHUT UPPPP!" You skate ahead of him, overtake the family. And you're on the straight. All Dave has to do is overtake you one more time. But you got this. You can beat that asshat.

Dave goes whizzing out from behind you. He's on his final lap. You're too determined to lose! You start to get faster and faster. You're almost there! You can do it!

BLAM.

You hear a huge banging noise. But it wasn't you. You didn't fall? You turn around to see that Dave has collided with a wall. And he was going so fast. Hot damn. He's on the ground oh fuck maybe you should go help him.

You awkwardly skate over, cutting through the middle of the ice rink. There are no walls to help you if you fall now. Dave is on the floor. OH SHIT his nose is bleeding. You don't know what to do.

"Uhhhhhhh oh my god uh... HELPPP?"

* * *

You're name is Dave Strider and you don't know where you are. You're lying in a bed that isn't yours? And there's... a bandage on your head. Oh god what the hell did you do this time.

Suddenly thoughts of beating Egbert rush into your head. Of course. You were racing John. You were totally going easy on his too. Oh fuck that's right... you crashed. There was a toddler in front of you that you didn't see, and you had to swerve to avoid it. But of course you hit a wall. Go you.

"DAVE Finally! You're awake!" It's John. He’s sitting next to you on a really uncomfortable looking chair.

“Wha… how long have I been out?”

“THREE YEARS!”

“WHAT.”

“Nah I’m kidding. Like 6 hours. You're in a hospital. It’s Christmas now!” He hands you a present.

“Merry Christmas! You’re not allowed to leave until tomorrow. It was a pretty bad concussion. You broke your nose too.”

“Damn.” Your whole face hurts. You open the present. It’s a DVD.  _A Time to Kill_. “Oh right. I guess I lost. Heh.”

“Just go back to sleep, OK! We can watch the movie when you wake up!”  
It’s late afternoon on Christmas day. You wake up, and John is still sitting next to you. The movie is playing on the TV in front of your bed, and there’s a steaming steak on the table. This is going to be an awesome Christmas.

 


End file.
